The 5 Most Underachieving College Football Programs

Texas has every advantage possible in college football/365austin.com
The Texas AM win over Alabama prompted me to wonder how I would list underachieving programs I have had in my head for some time.

Until Saturday, I would have ranked TAMU very high on this list, maybe even number one.  But when you go into Alabama's place, lead the entire game, and beat a team some thought could compete in the NFL you are not underachieving any more.

Here are the five most underachieving programs playing FBS football.

1. Texas Longhorns

That's right. The Aggies former rivals are number one on my list.

You will not find a better job in college football.  Let us count the ways the Longhorn job is the best in the country: 1) You are the flagship university in the richest recruiting state in the country 2) You are in one of the best cities in America - big enough to have everything, small enough to avoid major crime and traffic 3) Your coeds can stack up with anyone and Natalie Portman goes to your games. 4) Your academics are good enough to offer a very attractive degree, but not so tough you can't hide kids who simply meet NCAA requirements in easy majors. 5) You have your own television network to give your program maximum exposure.

No disadvantages exist at Texas.

Yet despite all these advantages, the Longhorns have won four national championships in their history.  This is the same number as Minnesota.  Alabama has 9 in the national poll era (or 14 if you ask them) and rival Oklahoma has 7.  The Sooners have far fewer advantages than the Longhorns yet have been much more successful historically and recently. 

2. UCLA Bruins

Your campus is literally in Hollywood. Rolls Royce drive by your campus and it is not because of an NCAA violation.  Some of your best coeds appear in Playboy.  Your campus has palm trees and 70 degree weather almost every day.

And you have 1 national title and your last Pac 12 title was in 1998.  Washington State and Oregon State have won titles more recently than that.

California produces 300+ plus FBS players per season and most of those are from your backyards in Southern California. 

3. Arizona State Sun Devils

18 years olds are impressed by women.  You will not find many better looking campuses than the one in Tempe (just make sure Alt+Tab is ready).

Maybe the players are TOO distracted by the eye candy walking around.

You have never won a national title and won only three Pac 12 titles.  Washington State located in Pullman, Washington (read: hairy women) has won more.  Cal (read: stinky, hippy women) has won 11 more titles than you.   

4. Ole Miss Rebel Black Bears

It is fairly simple as to why Ole Miss has been an underachievement in football.  Their fans care more about the party than they do the football game.

The tailgating in The Grove is second to none.  They redshirt Miss America's.

The state of Mississippi produces the second most NFL players per capita.

Ole Miss has never played in the SEC Championship Game, the only team in the Western Division not to (TAMU doesn't count).  They have one more conference title than Georgia Tech who last played in the league in 1963. 

5. Illinois Fighting Illini

My first move out of the sun belt takes us to Illinois.  The Illini share their state with Northwestern, but the Wildcats boast a smaller student population that comes from all over and moves all over after graduation so you are pretty much alone.

While it is not Dade County, the Chicago area produces really good talent.  And yes Notre Dame is going to get its fair share, but the Illini also let Michigan and SEC schools also cherry pick their back yard.

The Illini do have 15 B1G titles, but more than half of those were won before WWII. 

The clincher for Illinois on this list? Even my wife said they are never good.



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